By Jamie Moody
James.moody@scs4help.com
This time of year, or “season” as we like to refer to it, can often bring sadness and emotional moments, and the pandemic has created its own set of unique circumstances. But depression can be treated, and no one needs to suffer in silence.
As I sit here and write this piece, I do so with the recollections of two of the dearest people in my life, my grandmother, who lost her battle to pancreatic cancer on December 20, and one of my closest friends, Daryl, who passed away at the age of 38, and whose birthday is December 20. I am honestly confessing that it actually makes me cry, which is more frustrating because this is supposed to be a season of celebration and joy.
“So, Jamie, which one is it, are the holiday blues fact or fiction?” Well, that’s a great question — one that may not be as easy to answer as we think. Statically speaking, all of the data collected over the last 20-25 years by the CDC points to the months of November and December as having the lowest suicide rates of any other months of the year; and yet statistics also demonstrate that up to 50% of articles written during the holiday season perpetuate the myth of increased suicides during these months.
Nobody has the right answer for why this happens, but the reality is something changes during this time of the year. As a counselor, I have watched this professionally for over 25 years; as an individual I have witnessed it for 51. While I have no copyright or branding on it, I have come to name this time of year from Halloween to Valentine’s Day as the “Holiday Corridor” where we see increases in anxiety, anger, aggression, and yes, unfortunately, sadness and depression.
Part of the likelihood for this lies in what these holidays are representative of: family, love, joy, hope, and happiness; all of these “positive “qualities that everyone associates with being “okay.” And one thing I am sure of, having been raised in the South all my life, is that during the holidays, whether we like or not, “we put on airs” and pretend we are okay. For those of you who may not be familiar with the term, it is one my grandmother emphatically used at Christmas time to insist that we “looked the part during the holidays.”
While the holidays provide more time to be with family and friends, it can also increase stress n(especially if there is conflict within a family dynamic) which requires an enormous amount of energy exerted to look, act, and play the “part” of being okay during this season. In the immortal words of TV’s Homer Simpson, “Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice, normal family.”
There are a host of things that can go on during the holidays that have a meaningful emotional impact. The holidays are a time of year that can have an important impact on a marriage. It’s the season when substance abuse increases, and therefore, the potential for DUI, DWI and fatalities in people who are intoxicated increases. It’s the peak season for both stress-related anxiety and heart attacks.
This time of year can also increase the grief that surrounds the loss of a loved one. We don’t always know how to acknowledge the loss of someone and that can make us want to shut down around the holidays, not wanting to celebrate at all, because we aren’t comfortable talking about our loved one who’s no longer here.
While it is common to get depressed around the holidays, we do not see an increase in people taking their lives because it is the holidays; it is more the result of a confluence of factors including mental illness, genetics, and trauma. It’s important to be accurate about what actually causes people to take their own lives, because we can’t prevent suicides if we don’t know why they’re occurring.
Likewise, the holidays don’t make suicidal thoughts suddenly appear; it occurs from a range of symptoms that can accompany anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses.
This is why doctors and therapists hate the whole “more suicides at Christmas” myth, because it makes suicide seem like some rational reaction rather than the tragic result of improperly treated mental illness. A person could have seasonal affective disorder or trauma from a family history that increases these feelings at this time of year.
Everyone and every set of circumstances, is unique, but in general, the holiday season isn’t causing thoughts of suicide to suddenly start happening for most people. There are usually underlying experiences or circumstances taking place that will contribute to these thoughts all year long.
If you are struggling to manage your emotions, feeling, depressed, anxious, stressed and suicidal, please know there are people willing to help you.
If you need to talk, counseling services are available in their offices in Walterboro, Summerville, Goose Creek, Mt. Pleasant and other nearby communities to see people in person, as well as through telehealth. Also know that there is assistance available at your local hospital, and they can assist you with other options as well.
It is increasingly more imperative to use the resources that are in place to get in touch with the professionals that can help you overcome some of the issues that will arise during the holidays.
