By Vicki Brown
My husband was turning 70, and my daughter-in-law thought he needed a party to commemorate such a special occasion. She is from the Dominican Republic, and they will party for any and all occasions, even a traffic ticket. But it was with complete and utter shock, I saw my introvert husband actually look excited. He wanted a party.
Wonderful.
So my beloved daughter-in-law, who lives in Florida, began sending me pictures of what I needed to buy for the event. Wait a minute! My husband is paying for his own party? I guess so.
Terrific.
So preparations began, plans were made, and catering ordered.
Now, you all know me by now and are well aware of the fact that nothing ever goes right for me. Why should this day be any different?
The night before the party, my son called me and said, “Um, Mom, I forgot to tell you that when my wife (the party idea girl) came back from her hometown in the Dominican Republic, she brought back a friend. So when we come for the party you’re going to have a houseguest. And by the way, she doesn’t speak any English.”
Lovely.
The day of the party arrived and started off with a bang. I was putting something in the car, my hand slipped from the handle, and I slammed the car door on my finger. Immediately it started swelling, and hopping up and down while trying to control my language, I turned to run into the house for ice when I noticed my houseguest staring at me in horror. She had seen the whole thing. Rattling off rapid fire Spanish, she hustled me into the house and said the only English words she knew, “ice!”.
I put ice on my finger and promptly fainted. While laying there it dawned on me that this was my middle finger, and while heavily bandaging it, it also dawned on me that it would look like I was making an insulting gesture. You know, the same gesture that many people make at those who cut in front of you in traffic. All my guests at the party would probably think I was saluting them in a nasty way.
Fabulous.
I got back on my feet and resumed the day by spending half of it decorating the venue. That’s when I received a phone call from my dad who said they were on their way. I was expecting them at 4:00 and not at 11 AM. I needed to get them lunch and clean up the house a little. I told my son to straighten up the house and buy my family pizza for lunch. It was the least he could do since his wife had caused me all this aggravation. It’s a good thing I really do love her.
Marvelous.
The party was to start at 4:00, and I managed to be done with all the decorating at 3:00. I rushed home to visit with my family, wash up, and change clothes. Walking into the kitchen to get some water, I noticed a whole pizza sitting on the counter.
“Mom, didn’t any of you want any pizza for lunch?” I asked.
“I didn’t know there was any,” she said.
Dad piped in, “I knew it but I wasn’t hungry.” Evidently, he assumed no one else was hungry either. At 87 years old he weighs in at a solid 130 pounds soaking wet on his 6 foot frame.
“So y’all didn’t get any lunch?”
“No, but that’s OK. We will certainly be ready to eat at the party,” she said. So I had a whole greasy pizza hardening on the counter that I promptly needed to take care of.
Fantastic.
The party began, and I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to speak to everyone, take care of food on the tables, and clean up messes. But my husband, the introvert, who had told me I needed to stay by his side for support throughout the party, was having the time of his life and enjoying every minute. I didn’t even have time to speak to him throughout the whole thing.
That evening, wringing wet with sweat, I flopped in my recliner to chill for a while…. literally. That’s when my husband came up to me, hugged me, and said, “You know I didn’t really want a party, but this was awesome.” With those words, I considered reaching out to strangle him with my good hand, but then he thanked me for one of the best days of his life.
Truly, his words made it all worthwhile.
So the next day, I said goodbye to my family and my guest from the Dominican Republic, and rested my blue and purple finger.
Will I ever do something like this again? Absolutely not, because the next day, I took to the bed and didn’t get up for three days.
