Many years ago, my husband and I were given a small dog as a gift. He was part Pekingese and part Dachshund. Needless to say, he was a funny looking little pup that we named Albert. We took him everywhere with us.
One evening we were traveling from my grandparents in Atlanta back home to North Carolina. The traffic had been terrible and as evening wore on, we grew more and more tired.
Night had just fallen as we were coming upon one of the wonders of the world... An interesting place called South of the Border right on I-95.
I've never been too sure exactly what this place was supposed to be, but I think it was imagined in days gone by to be a huge amusement park. The decor, outlandish buildings and trimmings were based on Mexico. Even the souvenirs were from Mexico.
As we were nearing the site that evening, we decided that we would stay there that night just for fun.
When my husband went to register for us to stay in the hotel, we were told that the only room left was the honeymoon suite and no dogs were allowed. We agreed, got back in the car and proceeded to follow our "valet", which was actually a boy wearing a sombrero and riding a bicycle. He led us to the illustrious honeymoon suite at the notorious South of the Border Motel.
The young man insisted on bringing in our luggage for us and then after a tip he left. I quickly went back to the car, stuffed Albert into a pillowcase, slung it over my shoulder and hauled it into the room. He was really cool about it and never made a peep.
Setting the pup down and removing him from the pillowcase, Albert began to sniff around. I looked up to say something to my husband, but one glimpse of his face stopped me cold and caused me to spin around to see what he was staring at.
It was unbelievable. It was grotesque. It was absolutely... bizarre. The room was decorated in the most hilarious fashion. We both gawked at the place.
First of all, the floor was neon pink shag carpeting. The curtains that surrounded the round bed were purple, and the bedspread was red velvet. The walls were covered in fuzzy red wallpaper. A nightstand and a vanity were painted white with gold trim and a chandelier hung from the ceiling.
We just stared, mesmerized. It was the most hideous room I had ever seen in my life. Before long, we started laughing and absolutely couldn't stop.
A few minutes later when I caught my breath, I said to my husband, "Hey, this room doesn't have any mirrors. How am I supposed to do my hair and makeup?"
My husband, who was reclining on the bed, leaned up on his elbows grinning at me and pointed up. When I looked up to where he was pointing, there it was... a giant mirror. On the ceiling.
That set us off laughing again, and I laughed so hard that I had to go to the bathroom. But what I saw when I reached the bathroom stopped me on a dime.
The bathroom had lime green tile throughout the entire room with a pink sink. But the most remarkable thing about the bathroom was the bathtub which basically looked like a huge trench cut down into the Earth, cemented, and covered with green tile. You had to step at least two feet down into this thing, and once there, you realized that if it had a lid on it, it could have been a coffin. It was two and a half feet wide, 2 ft deep, and 9 ft long. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen.
As I was coming out of the bathroom and before I could even tell my husband to come in and look at the odd bathroom, there was a knock at the door.
I quickly grabbed up the dog, ran into the bathroom and shut the door as my husband answered the knock. It turned out to be the boy with a sombrero who handed over an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne inside in honor of our wedding and new marriage.
We had already been married about 3 years, so he was a little late for that, but it was a really sweet gesture.
Since that night, we've driven by South of the Border several times and on a few trips, we even stopped to just look at it and remember a night from a long time ago.
Albert's been gone for decades now, and my husband and I have grown old, but in all my 67 years I have never encountered another room like the honeymoon suite at South of the Border.
And I hope I never will.
