“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” Revelation 21:4 (ESV). How do you tell this to the parents who have lost a child? What do you say? What do you do? We lost my youngest sister, Ms. Janifer Stevens, on June 27, 2007. After our beloved Janifer’s “change of address,” there were times that I heard my mother say, “I’ve lost my husband, mother, father, sisters, brothers, and other family members, but nothing is like the loss of a child.” My mother was very strong throughout my sister’s illness, her death, and afterwards, but I saw a change in my mother that I cannot describe. She raised her daughter’s two sons, and God knows it was a challenge, but after my sister transitioned, my mother said that having the boys live with her was like having a part of Janifer with her every day. That helped to get her through, along with prayer, faith in God, and support from family and friends.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the loss of a child is the most devastating experience a parent can face, for missing the child never goes away. Many grieving parents question whether life will hold any meaning for them and wonder how they will survive the pain of their loss. Then how does the Christian help the family in the loss of a child through death?
• The most important thing to do is pray for them. If the opportunity presents itself, go and pray with the family. Spread the word to others to pray.
• If there are other siblings in the family, spend some quality time with them, and answer their questions to the best of your ability, without confusing them.
• Share Scriptures with the family that will uplift them, but don’t overdo it because you have to remember and respect the fact that they are in an extreme emotional crisis.
• Prepare a meal(s) for the family. However, most of us take lunch and dinner food, but remember that the family does need to eat breakfast.
• Bring special treats for the siblings, especially if they are very young.
• Encourage the family to focus on happier times as much as possible, but don’t push. While these are a few suggestions for what the Christian can do to help, there is so much more that can be done. Always abound in the faith, and never leave home without Him!
