I went to college absolutely dreading the greatest nemesis of my life…math.
Sure, I planned on taking the lowest and easiest available math to complete my requirements, college math, but I still hated it and dreaded the whole thing. So I decided to take it my very first semester and get it over with.
At 8:00 am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I dragged myself into the coldest classroom in the state for college math. Our teacher was a rather large woman who announced on our first day that she was going through menopause, and therefore, the classroom would be a balmy 36 degrees year-round. “So come prepared!” she said.
She wasn’t kidding. We all sat there dressed in various hats, gloves, sweaters and parkas the entire semester.
The only thing the class had going for it was a guy named Mike.
Now, my mother did not raise a fool. When I found out that I was going to have to dissect frogs in my ninth-grade biology class, my mom told me to find the biggest nerd in the class and beg to be his or her partner. I did that and never had to cut into anything. Everyone ostracized my partner except me, and when they were gagging, my nerdy partner was cutting into all the nasty stuff with great enthusiasm. I just wrote what he told me. Best decision ever!
So in the dreaded college math class, I hunted for a partner to help me get through it. Mike became my “go to” guy. At least, that’s what I hoped.
On that first day, in rolled Mike. He was close to being paraplegic, so he rolled in with his wheelchair and parked at the end of the row next to me. (Yes, I was hiding at the end of the next row hoping the teacher would never call on me.)
Mike had dived into a swimming pool when he was a preteen, hit his head on the bottom, broken his neck, lost the use of his legs and only had limited use of his arms. He could push his wheelchair a few yards.
Sitting there shivering in the cold classroom, I glanced over at Mike and smiled. He smiled back and just like that, we became fast friends. I have never met anyone so blatantly funny, good humored, sarcastic, and downright friendly as Mike. Neither one of us had a clue what was going on in math, but through his hilarious running commentary on the class, my laughter, and the kindness of a few kids in front of us, Mike and I got the help we needed to pass the course by the skin of our teeth.
When the class ended, we were happy to see that we had another class together the next semester, and the fun continued. But after that, we didn’t see each other again.
I was constantly amazed at his positive attitude. There was always a smile on his freckled face surrounded by shaggy strawberry blond hair poking from under his toboggan hat. He had a ready laugh, and you could hear him chuckle in such a way that his entire skinny body shook.
He was such an awesome person to be around and growing in popularity.
Many years later, I was at a hospital waiting for some x-rays to be taken when I turned around at a sound, and there was Mike. I couldn’t believe it!
Excited, I rushed over to say hello but was shocked at the difference in my friend. His demeanor was so different. His eyes were dull, hair darkened, and no ready smile came to his face. He said hello and then dropped his eyes like he really didn’t care about anything.
Concerned, I looked up at the people with him whom I assumed were his parents. Still trying to hold my smile, I told them about being in math class with Mike and the fun we had experienced hoping that it would elicit some comment from him, but he just sat there. His parents laughed and said it was wonderful to meet me, and they remembered stories he told about the cold classroom.
I squatted down to look into Mike’s eyes, hoping to make that same friendly connection, but it didn’t work. The Mike I knew was gone.
As they left, I pondered about what could have happened to change that funny boy into a morose man. Then it dawned on me.
If I had been a better friend, I would have kept in touch. I would know what had happened. As time went by, did Mike’s friends all disappear into their own worlds and lives? Did they all forget about him like I did? Did we all create this lonely, unhappy man?
I don’t know, and now, it’s too late. It’s a lesson we all need to learn and remember. Our actions do affect others. I wish I had been a better friend. I plan on changing that from here on out.
Do you?
