Conflict is an inevitable part of life. Because we
are imperfect people trying to make a life together in relationships, we are not always going to see things eye-to-eye. Offenses WILL happen. Misunderstandings WILL occur and sometimes, arguments WILL erupt. It is just a fact of living in our world’s fallen order. Ignoring this truth
will only allow things to fester until greater damage is done.
So, what should we be doing? Good marriage (or any type of relationship) is about being committed to resolving conflict. It is about reconciliation and rebuilding. Every home renovation requires both deconstruction -- tearing things out -- and reconstruction -- putting new things in. The same holds true for healthy relationships.
Most fights in any intimate relationship are unfair and can cause irreparable damage. When we resort to using worldly tactics, whether physical or verbal, the intent is to win at all costs. The damage, both direct and collateral, can be costly. Relationships end, children are traumatized, extended families are broken, and it can even indirectly affect our jobs, churches, and friendships.
I want to offer you these keys to a fair fight. I am indebted to Chuck Swindoll for this list. It is from his book, “Strike the Original Match.” The intent is to show how to have a fair fight according to the scriptures so
you can come through those battles stronger and more committed in your relationship. The biblical passage for this list is found in Ephesians 4:25-32.
1) KEEP IT HONEST. Verse 25. This must be the basic rule for disagreements with people that we love. In the Greek, there are two verb tenses. One is used to describe a punctiliar event -something done once at a particular point in time. The other describes continuing action, day after day. The first is used in this verse. Putting away lying should be done once for all. When we do that, we will speak honestly, respectfully, and truthfully even in the tough times.
Check out part two next week!
