Many years ago, and before lawsuits became routine, dogs were allowed to roam freely throughout our neighborhood.
Back then, the neighbors were so easy going that roaming dogs bothered no one. In fact, everyone sort of looked after everyone else's dog.
Dogs are a lot like people, they have a variety of personalities. Our neighborhood possessed some interesting canine characters back then.
First, there was a setter named Lady and a chiweenie named Taco. There was also a rather lazy and slightly stupid Labrador retriever that lived several houses down. He wanted to be "large and in charge", but there was no way it could possibly happen. That was mainly because of another dog that lived around the corner.
This dog's name was Bear, and he was a black Labrador mixed with what seemed to be Cane Corso. He weighed at least 150 pounds and sported a massive head. Bear truly was "large and in charge. He was the "bad bad Leroy Brown", or the "Mack the Knife" of the neighborhood. He ruled the area with strength and authority.
Several years after we moved into the neighborhood and a few streets over lived a family who adopted a Basset Hound/Beagle mix puppy named Rex. Rex looked more like a white and rust colored Basset Hound with a sausage body, short legs, droopy eyes, and long floppy ears. For some strange and odd reason, Bear and Rex became fast friends. They looked hilarious standing together. There was big hulking Bear plodding along the street with short little Rex trotting right beside him, long ears flopping around. These two dogs would start out in the morning and begin their walk around the entire neighborhood to scope out their territory. They knew which houses to visit to receive a treat. After they made their way from house to house, they ended back at Bear's house or Rex's House for a nap. Then, in the afternoon, they would make another trip around their neighborhood to check out their kingdom once again. They knew all the houses that had water bowls and snacks. They also knew where the stupid Labrador lived and would frequently have fights. Of course, Bear would do the fighting and win, while Rex ran around them in circles barking.
One summer, my husband and I began walking around the block and noticed that all the dogs would come up to us barking and growling as we walked past their houses. So we had the bright idea of taking a dog biscuit with us for each dog to snack on. We were absolutely buying their affection.
It worked like a charm.
We were able to walk growl-free as long as we had a biscuit for each dog in our pocket. The funny thing was that as we started to walk, we would have one dog trailing us, but by the time we got home, there would be six.
That is how we met Rex, the new dog in town.
When we first met him, Rex was so short that his ears dragged the ground, causing him to trip over them. As a Basset Hound puppy, he did his best to keep up with us, but he would get so worn out from tripping over his ears with his short little legs that he just couldn't make it. So we would have to pick him up and carry him back home to his house. As he got older he finally could make it to our home, but he couldn't get any further. So we ended up having to put him in the car and drive him back home every single day.
Rex loved the attention. My husband and I became friends with Rex's owners, so quite often we would dog-sit for the family when they went out of town.
We knew Rex loved us just as we loved him, but I never knew how much he liked me personally until one summer afternoon.
We were dog-sitting Rex at the time, so he had been in our home walking around and sniffing the furniture. He then walked back outside where I was sitting on the steps of my front porch. My husband and sons were on the porch behind me playing with Rex, when suddenly, I felt a huge weight on my back and shoulders.
For some strange reason, Rex put his front paws on my shoulders, his long snout on my head, and he began to treat me as though I were a female canine.
In other words, Rex thought I was his girlfriend.
I began shrieking my head off and trying to pull away from Rex, but at that time he probably weighed fifty or sixty pounds. I couldn't get him off of me, I couldn't lean forward, and I couldn't stand up.
While I was shrieking and screaming for Rex to get off of me, my husband was laughing so hard he fell into the rocking chair on the front porch, while my two sons were rolling with laughter right beside him.
They were not helping at all.
Finally, my husband took pity on me and pulled Rex down. I jumped up and ran into the front yard where I started hopping around, shuddering, yelling and screaming.
Doggone it, but Rex followed me out into the yard. I yelled for him to keep his distance and kept backing away from him. I think he was worn out by then, because he suddenly flopped down and just stared up at me.
I began to scold and shake my finger at him.
"Rex, we must have boundaries!" I shouted. "This cannot be! You must find someone of your own size and species! Besides, I'm a married woman!"
My sons thought this was even funnier and followed me out into the grass, rolling and laughing.
Meanwhile, poor Rex looked absolutely lovelorn and brokenhearted. His eyes drooped and looked even sadder than before, his tail stopped wagging, and he flopped his head down on his paws. I actually felt a little sorry for him.
But soon enough, Bear showed up, and the two trotted off together for daily inspection. As I went back in the house, my husband grinned at me and started chuckling again.
"Honey," he said, laughing. "You said just the other day that being in your late 40s, you have lost that youthful glow and feel you are unappealing. Rex just proved you wrong! You are a real cougar!"
I did the only thing I could do. I hit him in the head with a dog biscuit.
