Several days ago, I had an interesting discussion with a lady while walking at the park. Around here we call the park the Duck Pond, and while there, we both discovered that even though we were of two completely different races, we had the same identical problem… our kids.
Now, I don’t know how this all got started, but I find it interesting that these young parents are having to call on their older and elderly parents for help raising their children. Why?
Recently, my 40 something son contacted me and asked me for help with their 2 1/2-year-old son.
“Mom,” he said, “we need help. Jonathan is a handful, and he is driving us crazy. He is still breastfeeding and pitches a fit every night before he goes to bed. He is interrupting our sleep at night by tossing and turning and kicking us in his sleep, and he interrupts my wife while she is working at her job at home. We just don’t know what to do. Can you come down and help?”
Finally! The invitation I had been waiting for!
I immediately climbed on a plane and flew to Florida. Yaya was on the warpath.
Within 48 hours, Jonathan was no longer breastfeeding, he had his own bedroom, he was on a schedule for naps and at night, I had sabotaged the doorknobs so he couldn’t turn them, and he had learned to eat at the table.
That doesn’t mean he didn’t try my patience. At 2 and 1/2 he was smart enough to realize that a new sheriff had come to town. He knew that when his Yaya put down her foot, she meant business. Once, he grabbed his momma’s hand and pulled her out of the room where I was sitting and into another adjacent room. Peeping around the corner, he made sure I wasn’t coming, then climbed in his momma’s lap and pulled at her shirt demanding a “snack”.
My daughter-in-law was smart enough to set him back down and say they would have to ask Yaya first. That ended the snack time.
What happened? I know my kids aren’t stupid. I raised really smart boys. They did very well in school and college, but how is it that my son, who is an attorney, cannot control his own son? For crying out loud, he sends people to prison for wrongdoing but can’t figure out what to do with Jonathan when he acts out?
“Wash his face,” I said.
“What?” My son queried.
“Wash. His. Face.” I said. “Look, no kid likes having his face washed, especially with an icy cold and soaking washcloth. Every time he acts up, wash his face. If he continues to act up, keep washing his face. Eventually he will get fed up and shut up.” (Now here, I must point out that my ridiculous husband calls it waterboarding, which makes me want to choke the life out of him when he says it. But I got the idea from my mom who would take my sister in the middle of one of her nasty tantrums and stick her head under faucet of cold running water. It was amazing how fast she quieted down. It was a stroke of genius and works every time. You’re welcome, and no charge.)
My friend at the park remarkably had the same exact issues with her grown kids.
“Why won’t these kids eat at a table anymore? We always had dinner around the table every night,” my friend said dismayed. “That’s how we were able to connect as a family.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “My grandchildren from my other son wander around the house with a sandwich or fruit and they eat at all hours. But it’s funny that when they come to my house they know to sit at the table and clean up after themselves. Even the 2-year-old picks up his toys and puts them away. His mom said that she wished he would do that at her house. I said he could if she would make him.”
“What happened with our kids? They weren’t raised this way so why are they raising their children this way?” she asked frustrated.
“I truly have no idea,” I said. “If we were such bad parents, then why do they keep coming back for Thanksgiving dinner?”
We both decided that the fault must be with social media, television, movies, and video games. It’s not what these devices are teaching them…it’s the fact that they are too busy watching them to take time with their kids.
And what was our final conclusion?
If we had gotten together a lot sooner, we could have easily controlled the world.
