Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! I’m fixing to die!
May this be a season of joy for all, especially those trampled in Black Friday sales. (If you’re willing to risk a beat-down to buy a $29 HP printer, I don’t judge.)
For me, it’s been… interesting. In the midst of decorating, shopping and making my semi-famous bon-bons, my body went haywire.
One minute I was tossing tinsel and the next minute I had a blistering rash in places you don’t want to know. Fever. Cough. Infection. Nausea. Pounding headache. Night sweats. High blood pressure. Every day brought a new symptom. Even my hair hurt.
FYI, getting sick makes me furious, because I do everything right: Plant-based diet, exercise daily, handfuls of vitamins. I thought if you do all that, the universe will keep you well.
Ha, ha, ha.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
A fever of 103
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A rash upon my… elbow, and a fever of 103
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
One runny nose, a rash upon my… elbow, and a fever of 103
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
Body aches all over, one runny nose, a rash upon my… elbow, and a fever of 103
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
A painful UTI, body aches all over, one runny nose, a rash upon my… elbow, and a fever of 103.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Two doctors’ visits, a painful UTI, body aches all over, one runny nose, a rash upon my… elbow and a fever of 103.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Julie Smith, who’s the biggest wimp in recorded history, can be reached at widdleswife@aol.com.